When our kids are little, it seems there are tons of opportunities to make new friends. They can’t go anywhere without us so we’re always tagging along for play dates, dance or sport practices or time at the park. You’re surrounded by other moms in the same boat who also want to talk with someone other than their toddler. This is when we connect through shared experiences and acquaintances can quickly turn into friendships.

As our kids start spending more time without us and have other interests, often those friend groups dwindle. People move away, you grow in different directions and life can just get in the way. So how do you make new friends when your opportunities to do so are less spontaneous?

Making friends an intention

Life gets busy. If you don’t make time for authentic friendships, they won’t happen.

Make time

Schedule time for the people in your life who are important and to foster budding relationships. That could be a coffee date, a walk in the park, or a phone call. And follow through on those commitments. Nothing is more disingenuous than someone who says they want to be your friend but constantly cancels on you. Read my post for help creating more time.

Join a group or club

Start a new hobby or prioritize time for an old one. Then join a group or club to meet new people who share your passions. This could be a hiking group, a knitting group, a travel club, or any other group that allows you to connect with others who share your interests. If you can’t find a club for your interest, start one!

I just announced a new online community for experienced moms who are stressed, resentful and worried for their kids and want to be more balanced and connected with who and what they want most. I’m so excited to see my members lean into the best parts of themselves and make new friends! My founding member launch closes May 6th. This group gets to help drive the direction of the group and will be available at the lowest ever price for the life of their membership. The community won’t allow new members again until late summer. Read more about becoming a founding member.

Be open-minded

Authentic friendships require a willingness to be open-minded and non-judgmental. It’s important to be accepting of people’s differences and to embrace diversity in all its forms. I love asking questions to understand why someone has the perspective that they do. Being curious and listening to understand is a great way to get to know someone and learn something new.

Be vulnerable

Vulnerability is key to building authentic connections. It’s important to be honest and open about your feelings, fears, and struggles. This helps others relate to you and creates a safe space for them to share as well. This was one of the hardest things for me as I always wanted to appear like I had my stuff together!

Opening up has been powerful in enabling me to connect with other women, make new friends, and allow for the support system that I was craving. Be careful not to share too much, too soon, though. Apply the same rules as you would to dating and allow your new friends time to share of themselves, also.

Slowdown to make connections

If your life is overloaded, you likely won’t show up as the friend you want to attract. Take time for yourself to calm the chaos and contemplate where the people are that you want to make new friends with. Then make time to show up there as the authentic you. My free Feed Your Soul guide can help you be more clear on what that looks like and be more intentional with your intentions.