When it comes to confidence, it seems that you either have it or you don’t. But did you know that confidence is a choice? Even if you’re trying something new. Confidence is the willingness to try. You can tell yourself that you’re going to suck at it or tell yourself that you’ll do your best, either way, building your self-esteem is about taking that step. (Psst, I would tell yourself you’ll do your best.)

Not enough courage

You may be thinking, That’s the problem. I don’t have the confidence to take that step. But you do have a choice in how you feel about a situation and what you tell your brain. And what you tell yourself changes how you show up. There’s no shame in doing your best so you should always have confidence in that.

If you’re a mom, when you had your first child, did you worry about confidence? Probably not. You just decided that you could be a mom and you went for it. And even though self-doubt sets in from time to time, you keep showing up in your role as a mom. That’s confidence.

The courage to decide

Increasing your self-worth starts with deciding who you want to be everyday and showing up that way. If your vision for yourself is out of alignment with how you show up, then your confidence wanes. Congruence leads to confidence. I encourage you to spend time every morning reflecting on who you want to be that day and see how it changes how you feel about yourself. I talk more about morning routine in my post about getting unstuck.

Self-esteem also grows with competence. Decide to try, learn from it and grow. Try again or move on to the next stage. No one gains confidence by waiting. Confidence requires action. Did you notice that I didn’t say anything about being perfect or knowing it all? That’s not confidence. That’s being unrealistic.

You can be courageous

I know I am a work in progress and am constantly working on my self-worth. You may know that I made a courageous move in March 2020 and left the traditional workforce. I left because I could not figure out how to be the kind of executive I wanted to be and the kind of mom I wanted to be at the same time. It had been something I’d thought about since my youngest son was born in 2005. It took my fifteen years to take action. And once I did, my confidence soared.

Your next move might not be on that kind of scale, but you can build confidence simply by deciding. Deciding you are enough and you are meant for more. Not only will your self-esteem grow, but your kids will see you, and realize that they can be courageous, too. And they will be so proud.

Sometimes your emotions can get in the way of you moving forward. Curious which emotion you lead with? Take my free quiz to find out.
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