Today we’re going to talk about our ongoing, and often unsuccessful, search for a balanced life. The typical thinking is that we need to allocate the same amount of time for a certain focus area every week. Time for family, work, self, community, spirituality, and the list goes on. And we either kill ourselves trying to make that happen or we feel guilty that we can’t. Or both.

Harmonize life

The good news is that research on the most successful and happy people shows that they don’t focus on balance, but on harmony. Rather than ensuring that you spend 15 hours with your kids each week, 7 hours with your spouse, 10 hours exercising, 2 hours volunteering, with work and other commitments filling in the remaining time, we should acknowledge that all weeks are different. One week may require extensive focus on work and the next may require extensive time for a sick child or school field trip. The next a major fitness competition.

Harmony is about all areas of your life co-existing with ebb and flow, as needed. The only one expecting a perfectly balanced life, is you. So, stop beating yourself up because you spent 2 hours less with your kids this week than last week. Instead, look at where your energy is spent over time.

Re-balancing life for harmony

To get into a harmonic flow, consider the kind of lifestyle you want. If your desires are not aligned with where your energy is going, you will never feel that life is balanced. I talk more about how to create a lifestyle in a previous post.

Once you understand what you would like your life to look and feel like, take a look at your time in the larger context. Get rid of what no longer serves you or is leading you towards the lifestyle you envision. This frees up time and reduces guilt. I share ideas on creating more time in this earlier post.

Next, look at your remaining projects and priorities and how those impact your time overall. From there, decide which priorities you will adjustment this week and where to make concessions. Then repeat each week.

Intentional life balance

The key to a harmonious, more balanced life is to be aware of where your time is slated and make adjustments or create future plans to address any areas that need attention. Rather than reacting to requests for your time, look ahead so that you can be more intentional with your most precious resource and spend it in ways that are aligned with how you want to feel and what you want your life to look like.

Want to know which emotion leads your decision making? Take my quiz to find out.