Who is your Priority?

It’s the end of the year and while we spend a lot of energy on the holidays, many people are just glad they survived. They’re ready for a short break and looking forward to starting fresh with the change of the calendar. But starting anew requires that things change. That you change. It requires an updated new year priority list with you at, or at least near, the top.

Whether you make New Year’s resolutions, set goals or just have big dreams, one of the areas people often overlook when looking ahead are their relationships. The people in our lives influence how we think, feel and act, and are crucial to our ability to be our best selves. From your partner, to your teenagers, co-workers and friends, each has an impact on your life.

And then there is the relationship with yourself. When is the last time you inspected how you feel about and how you treat yourself? If you want something different for 2023, this is the first place you should start.

Perspective

When you make yourself a priority, you have the ability to improve every one of your relationships. As nurturers, we often throw our needs out the window and support everyone else first. But that can leave you tired, frustrated, resentful and unfulfilled. Consider these two scenarios:

1. You go in for surgery and you find out that your surgeon hadn’t slept well in several weeks. She is barking at the nurses over minor things and somewhat rude when she talks with you pre-op. She complains about her partner not helping with the kids that morning, requiring that she rush in for your procedure. The nurse whispers that it’s ok, she’s like this with everyone.
2. Your surgeon comes in to see you before surgery with a pleasant demeanor. She looks rested and remarks that you are in good hands with the incredible nursing team on staff that day. She noted how beautiful the sunrise was on her morning run and that she is taking that feeling with her throughout the day.

Which surgeon would you rather have working on you? The second one appears to be in a better mental state, prioritizing her needs. Now consider, which of those people you would rather have as a friend, partner, mom or co-worker?

Investing in You

If you aren’t investing in you, then how are you showing up? The investment is really a matter of priorities and the higher you are on the priority list, the more rewarding your relationships will be. I’m not saying ignore everyone else’s needs, but be intentional about how you want to feel, how you want to be treated and let others know.

Are you resentful of your partner because you do all of the work over the holidays? Let them know how you feel and ask for help. Frustrated that you can’t seem to connect with your teenager? Reflect on what’s truly important to you and let them know so they understand why things set you off. The first step is improving the relationship with yourself, knowing what you need and then sharing that with others. Everyone will benefit and you can take the sunrise with you throughout the day. If you’d like to better understand which emotion you lead with, take my quiz to find out.

If you’re not sure where to start in making yourself a priority, I’d love to chat and see if my group coaching program would be a fit for you. It provides a safe place to bring your challenges, helps you uncover what’s truly important to you and provides you with tools to communicate your needs to those closest to you. My discovery calls are always at no cost. I love helping moms feel their best and seeing their relationships thrive.

If you’re curious about the difference between a goal & a resolution there’s a good explanation here.