Being Grateful vs. Practicing Gratitude

It’s November, so here is the obligatory gratitude post. But I’m not just here to give you ideas on how to share your gratitude this holiday season. I’m here to talk about a practice of gratitude and how it makes a difference in how you feel and what you receive in life.

Recently, I was talking to my husband about intentionally practicing gratitude. His response was “I’m grateful,” and that’s as far as the conversation went. I think that’s how most people would be respond. I don’t believe there is a broader appreciation that being intentional about gratitude is not the same as simply being grateful and why it even makes a difference. Let me explain.

Why Practice Gratitude?

You would expect that a conversation on gratitude would cover a benefit to mental and emotional health. And in fact, research shows that a high-level of gratitude has a strong positive impact on self-esteem, sense of well-being, and depression and is a protective factor when it comes to suicidal ideation, in addition to many other powerful benefits.

However, research also shows physical “benefits associated with gratitude include better sleep, more exercise, reduced symptoms of physical pain, lower levels of inflammation, lower blood pressure and a host of other things we associate with better health,” according to Glenn Fox a researcher at the USC Marshall School of Business.

What is a Practice of Gratitude?

As you would expect, a practice of gratitude, involves reflecting on the good things that have happened in your life. It can be as big as having a child or as small as someone holding the door open for you. The size doesn’t really matter. The key is to identify and reflect on those positive experiences.

There are a couple of things to keep in mind:

• As social creatures, our brains put more meaning on gratitude that involves other people than gratitude for things.
• Our brains can get bored and will pay more attention when you identify new things to be grateful for than the same things every day so mix it up.

How to Practice

A practice of gratitude can take a variety forms.

• As you’re winding down at night, you could reflect on the things from the day that you are grateful for. Say the words to your self “I am grateful for…” and feel the positivity that goes along with that.
• You might start your day with a gratitude journal where you write down three things from the previous day you are grateful for. Later, when you’re having a tough day, you can then go back and reflect on all of the positive things in your life
• As a family at dinner time, you could each share something you are grateful for. This is a great way to model the practice of gratitude for your kids, and slyly help your teens appreciate what’s really important and how much they truly have to be grateful for. For more tips on influencing your teen you can check out an earlier post.

Whatever the practice looks like for you, the key is to be consistent. It’s not enough to talk about gratitude on Thanksgiving. To reap the benefits long-term you need to implement the practice as a regular habit.

Do you feel that sometimes your emotions get in the way of being able to feel grateful? Take my free quiz to find out which emotion you lead with.